South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize