We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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