That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
