Will you blow on my dice?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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