I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
