You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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