Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize