Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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