Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
