Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
