I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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