how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
