Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
