Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
