dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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