thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Welp...herpes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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