Where did you get a picture of my penis
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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