hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize