Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize