He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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