Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
