You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
