i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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