There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
