just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
