I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
