yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
