I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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