Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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