i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need to calm my uterus...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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