i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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