Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
