Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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