on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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