They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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