Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
