Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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