I cockslap morals
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize