Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
They took my balls.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
