the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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