Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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