Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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