my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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