you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
