You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
