So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
