i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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