how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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