we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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