I hate all girls vehemently.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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