We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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