it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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