Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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