Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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