I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
