Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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