I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
