That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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