Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
