oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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