Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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