just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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